“Round and round and round we go!”

It’s official, Waterford City now has one of the largest “Roundish-squarish-abouts” in the county and probably the South East. The urban regeneration plans/works are in full swing and there are new road layouts springing up everywhere. Though we need not be surprised by this, as there was ample consultation and lots of opportunities to feed into the process, from as far back as 2015 (I think!).

I have to admit, that I’ve not had the occasion to try the new route, at “Rush-hour”, around the College Street, Bath Street, Manor Street, Railway Square loop. However, having been up and down on several occasions, it appears to be working well. The surface is a pleasure to drive on and don’t the new white shiny road markings look the business?

“Surprise, Surprise”, there were of course the usual Facebook warriors, pointing out that the world had ended, when this new system was introduced Cilla Black style. It’s not like we didn’t know this was happening! We’ll all have to give the new route time to bed in and before we know any different, it may become the norm?

Remember how so, so many were against The Apple Market roof development? In no time at all, this regenerated area has become a firm favourite of Waterfordonians and visitors alike. Looking at the future plans, there is plenty to keep this new performance area at the forefront of Waterford’s entertainment portfolio.

Admittedly, there are a number of snagging issues that need sorting out. The road surface, for example, differentiating the traffic and public areas, some noise concerns etc. We are assured that the Council is aware of these and in time, this will be addressed.

Perhaps we need a gentle reminder, on how to obey traffic directions? This might make these changes easier to understand? After all, those of us of a certain age and vintage, have possibly forgotten what a “Highway Code” book looks like. Can we even remember what the content actually refers to when driving? I know on the ring-road, people just choose to ignore the lane priority road markings, on approach to the roundabouts. The racing drivers, in the right-hand lanes, save literally seconds off their journey time, by refusing to move back to the left, when approaching said roundabouts. Better still, some in the left-hand lane drive straight across at roundabouts, creating the phenomenon of “Square-abouts”.

Anyway, as the City grows and expands, there will inevitably be more traffic disruptions. We should all be prepared to accept these, as they will surely and eventually benefit the expansion of the City. We need to accept that old adage, “You can’t make an omelette, without breaking a few eggs!” We can only hope that those making the omelettes, will not leave a few pieces of shell in their final presentation. Therefore, monitoring the new traffic flows will be crucial to keep footfall at reasonable levels, thus avoiding adverse negative publicity.

There does need to be a certain amount of proactivity on the Council’s behalf. For instance, the traffic tailbacks on the Dunmore Road are anomalous. During quieter times, this route can be as demanding as “Rush-hour”. Conversely, there can be tailbacks from Lombard Street, right back to the fried egg in Newtown, for no meaningful or apparent reason. You could be 40 minutes trying to navigate down this road, which is off-putting and discourages people coming into the City.

It may have something to do with the phasing of the traffic lights from the Quay, going all the way back to the junction on Lombard Street. Maybe the tech boffins in the Council can look at this? You know who I mean, those guys who talk only in binary numbers, “01010111 01100101 01101100 01101100, 01000010 01101111 01101001!”

I think we all have to be patient whilst the changes crystallize. Though some spinners do need to move away from the rhetoric, that traffic jams are good for this City. They are not! They discourage people from travelling to Waterford, when the access roads are constantly blocked. We need an accessible City Centre, with good public transport links. Dublin’s levels of congestion, are simply not acceptable in a City of circa 50,000 people.

Happy motoring. 

“Happy Burns Night!”

If you haven’t guessed it yet, I am very proud of my Scottish roots. I am Waterford’s token Scot, wheeled out on the odd occasion, to give my views and opinions on WLR and all manner of topics. Never a “Flowery” answer from this Garland!

Annually, on the 25^th January, we kilt wearing loons (Aberdonian for boys), celebrate the life of one of Scotland’s greatest exports. Robert Burns Esquire, Scotland’s National Bard. He was and still is our people’s champion. Rabbie, as we refer to him, was born in the year of our Lord 1759 in Alloway, Ayrshire, his father a very, very poor tenant farmer. He grew up to become immeasurably famous and revered, for his creative poetry and verse. He would articulate a social commentary, on the injustices of life in Scotland, in the early 19^th Century.

Please note that we Scots claimed 1759, as a date to celebrate, long before those in Diageo and “The Black Stuff”, from St James’s Gate, ever did!

Rabbie was quite literally the Robbie Williams of his day. That “Bit of rough”, the ladies of a certain standing, could go and see performing his work in the Literary Salons of the day. They would travel hundreds of miles, to Edinburgh, just to get a glimpse of him, in the homes of the Edinburgh elite, reciting his latest “Hits”. He liked the ladies and the ladies LIKED him, if you know what I mean!

 

We gather with friends and family every year, around the 25^th January, to celebrate the close bonds we have with those dearest to us. Haggis, with tatties and bashed neeps are washed down with the odd malt or two. There is much reminiscing and storytelling as the night lingers on.

Of course, the main ingredient of the meal, which always comes up in conversation, is the Haggis. Some say, this is an animal unique to Scotland, a kind of cross between a Guinea Pig and a Teletubby rabbit. One of the Darwinian features of this exceptional beastie, is that both their left and right legs are of different lengths. Thus, allow the creatures to escape predators, by running very quickly around a hillside. Admittedly, they could only run fast in one direction. The trick to catching them, is to chase them in the opposite direction so that they fall from the hill into waiting nets.

Rumour has it, that a breeding pair have been released onto the Comeragh Mountains. Apparently, a handsome fellow in yellow Lycra was seen leaving the scene at speed on his bike? If true, this is an ideal environment to establish a colony. According to pre-release veterinarian reports, the pair are due to give birth to their first litter, on 1^st April.

The relevance of Burns Night is not lost on our own Minister for Health, who recently visited a “Best practice hospital near Glasgow”. Visiting a ward, with the CEO, he was introduced to Hamish, who looked perfectly healthy, until he spoke, “Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!....” Looking puzzled our minister rapidly moved on.

Next, a very healthy looking elderly lady called Morag spoke, “O my Luve's like a red, red rose, that's newly sprung in June....” Our Minister was beginning to feel discomfited at this stage and asked to move on to the last bed. There he met Angus, who immediately started reciting, “Scots, wha hae wi’ Wallace bled, Scots, wham Bruce has aften led....”

Uneasy, troubled and clearly perplexed our Minister asked “What type of ward is this?” To which the CEO replied “This is our Burns Ward!” BOOM! BOOM!

I do realise that some of you may not get that joke – it wouldn’t be the first time I have NOT been funny. However, it may encourage you to search out some of Robert Burns’ work.  You’ll soon discover, that you recognise many of the lines Burns wrote. Lines quoted widely, throughout the world.

Phil Coulter has even “Tweaked” a line from one of Rabbie’s lyrics, using this in “Ireland’s Call”, their unofficial rugby anthem. Yes - we Scots get everywhere!

So there you have it, my wee indulgence of Scottish nostalgia.

Good luck searching out the Haggis. “Happy Burns Night!”

“Forget New Year Resolutions, maybe we need a Revolution?”

“I don’t believe it!”

We’re not even two weeks into the New Year and already there are Cream Eggs in many of the larger supermarkets. The shelves are beginning to fill and bulge, with all manner of chocolate gooey ovalness. With the annual Halloween “Trick or Treating”, has now merged, seamlessly, into baubles and tinsel, New Year and Easter appear to be rolling together as well. Soon there will be absolutely NO separation between our seasonal festivities and that’s a shame. Our year will be truncated by one big commercial temptation, with no time to rejoice or rest, for that matter.

I was asked the other day, whilst on the Friday Panel of Eamon Keane’s Deise Today programme, if I’ve made any New Year resolutions? I told Eamon and his listeners, that I’d given up making these a very, very long time ago. Personally, I do think it is important to give yourself goals and targets. However, committing to these just once a year, never really worked for me. As your circumstances change, so must the objectives you have set. Adaptation, commitment and flexibility are the key.

Anyway, having told the listeners that I don’t have any individual resolutions set for 2018, I did have a few wishes for Waterford Inc. Namely, that our four elected TDs would actually deliver on their 2016 General Election promises for this, the “Quiet County!”

The background to this, in relation to our health, is the shocking, but not surprising, revelation that Ireland Inc. needs 2,500 new hospital beds. Failure to deliver these in the next few years, will leave a much greater deficit of around 9,000, further down the line. Such complete and utter lack of forward planning, to future proofing of our health care, just beggar’s belief! More worryingly for Waterford, this is a significant national distraction, we don’t need, in relation to our ongoing 24/7 cardio campaign. Unfortunately, when to comes to the health of those living in Waterford and the South East, this is yet another well aimed nail, driven into our coffin.

A spate of Facebook ping-pong was observed last week on the subject of 24/7 cardio care. It seems that ALL political parties are claiming and counter-claiming, that they have or have not tabled a motion. It appears that we are as fractured as ever on this regional issue. From what I have heard on the political grapevine, we are no nearer to getting REAL all party support. Quite clearly point scoring, has taken precedence over our ailing health issues.

What of our SDZ on the North Quay? I know that we are being told that this is full steam ahead and that the Arabs will be bringing their wealth, their Riyal, to develop this crucial piece of infrastructure. What if we need a plan B? I don’t hear any talk of just what this might be. Have we put all our Easter eggs into the one basket – I for one hope not!

Our airport continues to get a leg-up from government backed funding. As time ever so slowly moves forward, we have to wonder if we will ever attract another carrier of significance. Runway extension is all that is needed to secure this lifeline. Alas, those holding on onto the purse strings don’t seem to be so convinced. The longer we go on without an operator, the more the people of the South East will get used to the short drive to Dublin and Cork. Can we be sure there is a plan B to secure the levels of funding others receive?

WIT continues its age old battle to get University status. Continually moving goal posts, whilst other third level university institutions swallow up ALL the funding. Will there ever be space for a university of the South East? Again time is marching on and quite clearly, some are ahead of us in the queue. We don’t seem to be sticking our elbows out wide enough, to stop others pushing in.

2018 is already upon us. I hope that those who can influence Waterford’s future, took a long hard look at themselves over the festive period. They needed to set a few New Year resolutions and deliver them!

“Happy Hogmanay!”

Aren’t traditions great? In Scotland, we celebrate Hogmanay, on December 31^st, the last day of the year past. Looking back on what has gone, rather than towards what is yet to come. Unlike our “Auld Enemy”, those Sassenachs down South, we do our own thing, we’ve done for time immemorial.

This tradition also involves “The First Foot”. The taller and darker the preferred male “First Footer”, the better. He is the first person to cross the doorstep or threshold, of a friend or neighbour, post the midnight “Bells”. He brings with him emblematic gifts of coal, salt, shortbread, fruit cake (often Black Bun). Ensuring the household will have warmth and food a’ plenty, in the coming year. He’ll also bring a “Wee dram” in the form of Whisky, possibly even a fine malt, sharing and toasting “Slainte Mhath”. The ensuing party could quite literally go on for days – or at least ‘till the Whisky ran out! 

It’s strange just how these topics come up in conversation. I happened to be talking about this to a Welsh friend, whilst out cycling on a cold, snowy capped Comeragh morning. We both agreed that our first experience of Irish tradition was in fact in church, with our respective wives. When at mass, the congregation turn round and wish everyone within a handshake distance, “Peace be with you.” A welcoming gesture to any visitor and certainly to this newbie. This action a sign of friendship and companionship. Initially my Welsh friend thought everyone was saying “Pleased to meet you!” Making him feel very warmly received indeed.

 

I thought that I would look back over the year past, picking out some of “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” moments, affecting us in Waterford. Boi, there was unquestionably an awful lot to choose from!

Our biggest ongoing saga, was of course our right to proper cardio care, at UHW. This story has been rumbling on for many years and it looks like we will have to wait another 18 months, for another report to be written. I was very disappointed, to have seen only a few hundred at the protest in Dublin. My daughter and I expected to see hundreds, if not thousands, on Kildare Street. I was kilted and ready to “Storm the gates”, Braveheart style, to take up position on “The Plinth”. With so few in number, we missed a gilt-edged opportunity to capture the National Airwaves, with our passionate protest.

What then of our “Fantastic Four”, who marched triumphantly into the Dáil chambers after that 2016 General Election? They would, collectively, deliver for Waterford and its electorate. With 25% of this Capella group, unable to perform, our bargaining power was anything but harmonious.

Cars tend to drive much better with all four wheels, don’t they? Maybe, 2018 will see the re-emergence of our missing TD, to bolster and re-energise Team Waterford’s clout in Dublin? Do we have to recognise that we will be driving a knackered, three-wheeled, Reliant Robin from now on?

Our City looked resplendent and magnificent, all through the busy summer months, with City in Bloom. A wonderful riot of colour, emerging from the simplest and most cost effective of projects, delivered by Waterford Business Group and Waterford Council. Spraoi once again produced something spectacular and Waterford Walls brought permanency, to some of the more bedraggled corners of the City. Festivals were, on the whole, a huge success and there is much to look forward to in 2018.

Waterford’s Greenway has been the jewel in our USP crown, attracting some 250,000 visitors to the County. This 42-kilometre converted railway line, between Waterford City and Dungarvan, has to be applauded, celebrated, cared for and most importantly, treated with the respect it deserves. If we are to reap the benefits from this tourist attraction, we must regard it as we would, one of Waterford’s Treasures.

2017 delivered a very mixed bag for Waterford. Let’s not lose sight of the fact, that we are only on the “Third tier” of Ireland’s economic recovery. Traffic jams and footfall do not equate to a booming economy. The reports and CSO figures tell us the truth. We have an awfully long way to go, to even just catch up.

Here’s hoping, “Happy New Year” to you all.

“They think it’s all over?”

This time next week, it will all be over for another year. Depending on when you are reading my wee column, there will be 5, 4 or 3 sleeps left, until that big man, dressed in his Coca Cola red costume, drops down the chimney to deliver your presents. That’s assuming you have made it on to his “Nice list!”

There will be more than a few people on Waterford’s “Naughty list” and we hope that Santa deals with them appropriately!

Like so many others, I’ve written to Santa. I let him know about the dozens of promises made to us and how, time after time, we have been repeatedly let down. So many have guaranteed, well almost, to bring X, Y and Z, as well as A, B and C to the Déise. Yet we never seem to get the very presents that we deserve. It is like we are little Tiny Tim, from Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” and the Government is Scrooge. We just need someone brave enough to show the party in power, those three life changing ghosts. Alas, I fear that it will take a few more Christmases to get our Scrooge to change his mind.

Anyway, I am sure that a week from now, we will all be deciding just what to do, with our three day old leftover turkey and ham. We’ve had copious quantities of sandwiches, with the two fillings and despite handing out mountains of these to our visitors, there is still enough left, for one more dish. What if we make a curry or a stew? Maybe the easier option would be soup? Or better still, the brown bin’s mouth is calling, ready to swallow all things leftover. So the bin it is, as we have to move on to thoughts of how to cook and prepare the ham, for New Year’s Day.

It’s a time to get together and share in the joy of giving. Put a wee bit of thought into those presents for loved ones. Vouchers are fine for birthdays and anniversaries, but from Santa? Nothing says I’ve thought of you more than the small token present that will mean so much to your nearest and dearest. When you get it right, their reaction says it all.

I’ll share a Christmas past with you. Men tend to be very, very, very, practical when it comes to presents. That’s the way our minds are hard wired and programmed. It goes back to the days of us being the hunter gatherers. We just can’t help it, so ladies, cut us a wee bit of slack.

With this in mind, I once wrapped and delivered to Mrs Garland, a lovely wood affect mahogany toilet seat, a set of stainless steel mixing bowls (which are still in use), an electric tooth brush (now long gone) and a plethora of other wonderfully, sensible (in my eyes), no-nonsense gifts. I had put an awful lot of thought into my shopping that year.

Did I get any credit for this? No! As the saying goes in the North East of Scotland, “It was just one sheep!”, you can work out the rest yourself. Tainted for the rest of my life, I am afraid! Lesson learned.

At Christmas time, I would advocate that the males of the species, never ever provide your wonderful other halves with the Jigsaw (the electric type for wood cutting). A vacuum cleaner (of any make), a combined microwave oven, a blender or, God forbid, a Slendertone....what is that suggesting!?!? It may well be the season to be jolly, but it is not the season, time or place to be giving sensible gifts.

 

2017 will soon be leaving us. We can start looking forward to the New Year and what 2018 might bring Waterford.

Can we really look forward to better times ahead? I do hope so. Unfortunately, those who rub the magic lamp, to loosen Exchequer funds, don’t have Waterford on their Christmas card list. Unwilling to spend the €1 on a stamped card, wishing us some much needed, festive cheer.

May I sincerely wish you, a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hogmanay, when it arrives.

“Tis the season to be jolly?”

Whilst out and about over the last weekend, I was stopped on several occasions to be asked about the mess that is Brexit. I suppose, being so vocal on the politics of Ireland, makes me an ideal person, to stop and quiz, when it comes to all things governmental in the UK, GB and of course Scotland. Unfortunately it does appear that the political glitterati, on both side of the Irish Sea, are crafted from a very similar gene pool.

On Sunday last, due to frost and snow my unicycle stayed snugly wrapped under the duvet. I therefore had time to watch David Davis MP (The Tory baddie) squirming on Andrew Marr’s BBC show. He was asked probing question, after probing question on the lies spouted by the leave side, during the Brexit referendum. Like all well schooled representatives, he wiggled out of answering any direct question with a straight answer. Time and time again he was fudging the reply and deflected nearly all of the arrows being shot at him. According to the UK Government, Westminster is still in the driving seat at the negotiating table and they are sailing the “Good Ship Lollipop” in the right direction.

What about that £40-£50 billion (some say £100 billion) divorce settlement? A separation that wasn’t going to cost a single penny? It would be “No deal”, if there was any hint that the EU were going to force through a bad deal. Does the rhetoric sound familiar?

As they say “A week is a long time in politics”.

Scroll back a few more days. There was a deal on the cards and pens were poised ready to sign on the dotted line. A shame then that nobody had bothered to call and inform “Mrs Merton”, up in North. She immediately circled her DUP wagons, rolled out the same old Unionist patter and told May, Leo and Junker “The computer says NO!” All hell broke loose. People were scurrying around dark corridors, slamming doors and trying desperately to find alternative words, in their “Oxford Thesaurus of English”, to keep the Unionists at one side.

To justify the lack of movement, a scapegoat would have to be found. Ireland would be that sacrificial lamb. An open, free-flowing border would be the proverbial square peg in a round hole. To allow the UK public the chance to get involved in this debate, Channel 4 went out with pen, paper and a map of Ireland. They would ask people to draw the border that had scuppered the Brexit negotiations. Low and behold no-one could. Did they really expect some poor victim, from the middle of Sheffield, to know where this line should be drawn? Of course not, but it did make good TV and allowed many column inches, in newspapers both sides of the divide.

There were cries of foul play and demands that the “Empire Strike Back”. With lightsabers drawn, there would be much infighting and even the odd few admitting to “Using the force”, to find a wording or two, that suited all sides. Then out of the blue, after much lamp rubbing, the Genie appeared and a wording was penned that suited North, South, East and West.

Even Sky’s very own comedic “Anchor Man” Adam Bolton, managed to have a last minute snipe at Ireland, when interviewing Simon Coveney. The media well and truly had their knives sharpened. They would be prepared to sever every limb, of any politician who was thrown their way. It was like feeding Christians to the lions at Rome’s Flavian Amphitheatre.

Whilst all this politicking continues to rumble on, we the ordinary members of the public just want to see progress. This political points scoring needs to stop and solutions need to be found. Alas, finding common ground for ALL members of a political party, never mind cross-party, is the Holy Grail.

You couldn’t really write a better script for Brexit. It is an unjustifiable race to the bottom. We know that locally, representatives “Pretend” to work together, when their real motive is to get more votes than their competitor. It’s the same in the UK!

Irish and UK politics, one big pantomime? “Oh yes they are!”

“Terms and Conditions Apply!”

So Frances Fitzgerald finally fell on her own sword. Not before putting up a huge, behind closed doors fight, with her Fine Gael colleagues. There was even talk about her “Having something on Leo?” Nonetheless, he remained so steadfastly on the side of “She has done nothing wrong and let’s wait for the tribunal, before judging her!”

The trouble was, that Leo’s pantomime Dames were also told, in no uncertain terms, to get behind their Tánaiste. “They’re behind you!” The spin was “Innocent until proved guilty.” Then more and more, leaked emails started to appear. Evidence against the Minister was mounting, indications being that Frances knew more about the shenanigans surrounding Maurice McCabe, than she was willing to tell the Dáil. Had she convinced Leo, she was no Panto Baddie, no Wicked Witch?

Pressure mounted on ALL concerned, nobody wanted a pre-Christmas election. The hustings were awash with threats of rebellion. There was no festive cheer. The door knocking over the 12 Days of Christmas, was without doubt, going to be a complete and utter disaster. It would be an election date of infamy.

Joy of joys. Two Tuesdays ago Frances did the honourable thing and tendered her resignation, at the very, very, very last minute. Talk about leaving it late. She took the Government and the country right to the wire.

There must have been terms and conditions attached?

Sure enough, only a few hours later, the now ex-Minister and ex-Tánaiste received the full backing of her party. She stood for and was nominated, as the FG candidate for the next general election in her Dublin Mid West constituency. I have no doubt that a future ministerial role has been pencilled in, if FG are returned to govern.

Scroll forward a few days and on Thursday 30^th November, Scotland’s St.Andrew’s Day, Minister Simon Coveney, can’t believe his luck. Accepting the position of Tánaiste with alacrity. Have absolutely no doubt, he has attached his very own “Ts and Cs” to keep FG and FF happy. Will we see a third budget, as promised in the Confidence and Supply Agreement? “Oh yes we will!” Well, only time will tell.

 

Then out of the blue, the terms of reference are announced, by Minister Simon Harris, for the National Review of Specialist Cardiac Services. We’d rub our magic lamp and Waterford’s Lotto numbers would come up. We’d scoop the Euro Millions jackpot. Professor Nolan would lead the review that would once and for all, deliver the South East’s cardiac services.

Alas, yet another false dawn, I am afraid.

The terms of reference, are once again, comical, laughable, and even “Wishy-Washy”. They are quite evidently worthy lines for a pantomime Dame. “Oh NO they’re NOT!” the Government shout. “Oh YES they are!” we shout back.

An unbelievably long, drawn-out timescale of 12 to 18 months. Hello, we might all be dead, by the time the report comes back to Minister Harris! At least the can has been well and truly kicked down the road, for the next Government to fight Waterford.

Then, we see the now obligatory photo shoot, appearing all over social media. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am sure that some, maybe even all, are trying very hard to deliver our very basic health service rights. But when you see only three TDs pictured with the Minister, is it any wonder that this South East “Crisis”, is seen by those in the Dáil as wholly Waterford’s conundrum?

Could I produce a few more TDs from behind the Minister? “Abracadabra”, I shouted, but without my magic lamp to rub, no more appeared.

There are 158 TDs in the Dáil, yet only 3 turned up for the launch picture. That represents less than 2% of the total number seated in Dublin. If all 19 regional representatives had shown up, that would have increased the proportion to 12%!!!!

Or to put it another way. I win €1,000,000 on the Lotto and offer a lucky reader the chance to get 2% or 12% of these winnings. €20,000 or €120,000 – what would you choose????

Percentages matter in Irish politics. It’s very simple. The bigger representation you have, the greater the slice of the pie - Ts and Cs always apply.