“Don’t panic, don’t panic!”

Considering that I lodge my article the Friday before it reaches your doorstep, I have to write with a wee eye on what’s likely to happen next week. Now that is difficult at the very best of times. However, being Scottish makes that even harder, as we are naturally good at dealing with the here and now, but trying to second guess the future is a wee bit harder for us.

We are pragmatic, realistic, no-nonsense and matter-of-fact. You’ll know that you have Scots in your blood, if you stop talking and listen, when bagpipes are playing in the background. You’ll quite happily eat the odd Haggis or two, despite knowing what it’s made of! Love watching “Braveheart”, even though you know it is a historically inaccurate Hollywood fairytale. You’ll be prepared at any moment to risk injury, life and limb, by diving into a crowd to retrieve a penny. Finally, when that big orange disc in the sky starts to shine for more than one day, you’ll happily slow-roast for hours on end. Changing your base colour from milky-white, to lobster red, with no hope of ever getting a hint of a tan!

 

At the time of sitting down to push and bash away at the QWERTY keyboard on my laptop, in some sort of hopefully structured way, I could already start to hear the taps all over Dublin Town, running full flow once again. Though, this time it was not to stop “Pipes freezing”, rather it was filling baths and sinks to avoid water shortages. Just how did we arrive at the start of July with water shortages? Have we not just experienced the very wettest of winters and an almighty dollop of snow, that created 10 and 12 feet drifts? Just where has ALL that melt-water gone? It appears to have done a Penn and Teller and disappeared. Not even Keith Barry can help us find our missing Uisce. Perhaps we need to start drinking more Uisce Beatha to compensate?

A few days of “Unseasonably hot weather”, has the whole of Uisce Éireann in a panic. Their social media and PR departments have gone into overdrive. All weekend leave has no doubt been cancelled. Cries of “Don’t panic, don’t panic Mr Grant!” reverberating around Colvill House. Their website is stating that the “Demand for water has risen to critical levels”. Having looked at the longer term forecast, the whole country will be in shutdown by the time you’ve read this. Taps will have been turned off at the mains and we’ll be relying on imported bottled water to survive. Our gardens will have been transformed from luscious green, to burnt toast brown and Dermot Bannon wouldn’t be able to save the day. As there is no hope, we must now all retreat into our shells and just give up life!

Life will of course go on. In fact the “Sunny South East” is once again living up to its Failte Ireland strap line. This wee corner of Ireland’s Ancient East, is sizzling like never before. The hot Saharan winds are bringing people in their thousands, to our City and County. Only last Tuesday, on one of the many “Hottest days of the year”, I had the pleasure of cycling our wonderful Greenway, with a journalist from Australia. Asked if the climate was always like this, “Yes, of course it is!” was my honest reply, as I pointed out Buzzards, Egrets, and Cormorants enjoying the sunshine along the Suir Estuary. We have to make the most of days and weeks like these, as they come around all too infrequently.

In the midst of all this talk of heatstroke and heat exhaustion, thousands of hard, mad amateur athletes, conquered the 26 miles 385 yards or 42,195 metres, of the Waterford Viking Marathon. They’re all certifiably bonkers. Any physical exertion in the heat, poses tough questions about your own ability. There’s no help completing a marathon. Just you against the ticking clock. A singular brave feat of dogged endurance. Well done to those that completed the distance and didn’t panic in the heat.

Enjoy the pleasures the sunshine brings and “Happy 4^th of July”.