Hi ho, hi ho it’s off to....North Korea!!!!

Much of the news last week, focused on the announcement that three Irish TDs would be paying a visit to the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK). North Korea to you and me. 

Yes, that madcap totalitarian dictatorship, run by their supreme leader Kim Jong-un, will be visited by Ireland’s “Three Stooges”. Messers Ross, McGarth and Waterford’s very own Minister Halligan, will fly out, at their own expense, to the capital Pyongyang, we assume. To stop, in their own words, “The inevitable move towards war with the good old USA”.

This amazing story began last week. Just like many people, I immediately checked my phone, when I first read this, to see if it was the 1^st of April. I also checked that this was not a Waterford Whispers news story. Lastly, I even went online to look up The Daily Mail, that font of knowledge for ALL spoof news stories. Low and behold the oracles told me, that this was actually true!

This was not fake news, but a real and current, national news story. A letter has been penned and sent by Minister Halligan, requesting that this parliamentary Troika be allowed permission to visit DPRK. We can also assume that they have requested a meeting with Kim Jong-un, otherwise that whole junket, would of course be a waste of time. After all, you don’t ask the monkey to play you a tune on the organ – do you?

The justification for this visit is that “Larry, Moe and Curly” are, “a group of three prominent politicians in a country highly-respected around the world for its neutrality.” That’s a fair enough statement, but the word neutrality, can be very loosely defined these days, depending on which side of the fence you sit!

 

I would also be pretty sure, that Kim Jong-un’s school lessons, did not have so much as a sentence about Ireland’s standing as a world powerhouse, when covering global history. One could even hazard a guess that Kim could not point to Ireland on a world map. Much the same as many people wouldn’t have a clue where the DPRK sits, between the Yellow Sea and the Sea of Japan.

The thought that this Troika could do any good on the world stage just beggars belief. Does it not show contempt, for the very people of Ireland who voted these three into power? For “Huey, Louie and Dewey” to think that they represent some kind of World Peace Brokers, is delusional beyond anyone’s imagination.

Donald the Trump, is hell bent on giving Kim the bloodiest of noses. He has even taken his golf bats with him, to help relieve the monotony of his marathon tour of Asia. He’ll be visiting Japan, China, Vietnam, Philippines and South Korea. Do our three, secretly living, in their own wee world, see themselves on a par with other world leaders, never mind other politicians? It would appear that they do, which is worrying for us, their electorate.

Whilst our “Three Amigos” are plotting and scheming to save “Who?” from the El Guapo character, we are left wondering why they are so willing to apparently disregard their own people.

There are far too many pressing problems in Ireland and Waterford to list in this wee column. Currently there are 8,000 homeless people, with 3,000 of these being children. NO Cath Lab in Waterford City, to service the 500,000 people across the South East. University status for WIT appears further away than ever. REAL regional development is nonexistent. A skills shortage, in key industrial areas, that has been endemic for years. I could go on and on.

We have far too many current issues that these “City Slickers” need to tackle right here, right now. To think that they believe they are doing us a favour by going East, has all the makings of a slapstick film. I can see comedy writers bashing out scripts as we speak, on their Apple Macs.

Even if in some parallel universe, they succeed in getting an audience with Kim, they will NEVER get to see the “maniac” Donald. They quite happily burned that bridge last year!

Maybe they’ll meet the “Stay Puft Marshmallow Man” next?

Forget the first 100 days, Leo’s first 100 hours were mighty!

Donald “The” Trump, as president of the “Good Old US of A”, was assessed on his progress, as the newest resident of the White House, after only 100 days. Our latest and youngest ever Taoiseach, Leo “The Lion” Varadkar, has already courted so much controversy that we need only look to his first “100 hours” in office to read his mindset.

When you dig deeper into his cabinet appointments, you can see that there is really very little to shout about, for Ireland’s Oldest City and the wider region.

As with ALL cabinet reshuffles, there will be the inevitable winners and losers, prior to all the dust settling and before the unavoidable fallout starts. The best you can hope for, is that your own TDs get a gig on the back of putting at least one of their big feet into the right camp. For Waterford that foot surprisingly, belonged to our very own “Scarlet Pimpernel”, from the “Westh” of the county, John Deasy. There can be no doubt that having put his head above the parapet to support Leo, he could have expected a small token Junior Minster post, in one of the more obscure Government Departments.

 

“Surprise, Surprise!”, as Cilla Black would have said, Waterford was given no such recognition. In fact the whole of the South East was left remarkably short of any representation at Leo’s round table of cabinet lovies. As he was ignoring the “Sunny South East”, he also disregarded many a talented female TD and loaded his Ministerial roles with men from Mars.

Across the border in County Kilkenny, there was significant recognition for John Paul Phelan and a post to the very Department that looks after our local government. This was after all the very man who was so vociferous on the boundary issue, that I and many others suspected he was the very reason that Simon Coveney choose not to implement the report’s recommendations. Did John Paul have one foot in each camp during the Fine Gael leadership election campaign? He may very well have done and do you know what, it was such a pity that our own could not manoeuvre the chess pieces around the board to do the same? He supported Coveney and yet wooed Varadkar. The result was a role as a serious influencer for his constituency and lots of positive PR for himself.

Unfortunately, both the political heavyweight parties see our nearest neighbours as either 2 or 3 seat constituencies. Waterford on the other hand looks like it may well return 1,1,1,1, for the foreseeable future. Unless, I hate to say this, we somehow return 3 FF or 3 FG we will continue to see political tumbleweed blowing us through Dáil Éireann. Waterford, as a political force, has been out flanked by our surrounding counties and the net result will be the odd minuscule crumb, thrown to us every now and again.

The sad truth is that we cannot even get this Government to deliver a poultry circa €2 million project for increased Catherisation Laboratory facilities. This is chicken feed spending to an Irish Government! All around the country other TDs are delivering quietly and efficiently, services their constituent voters want and demand. All done outside of the glare of national press scrutiny and publicity. We here in Waterford, are being stitched up like the proverbial kipper!

I fear that unless the UHW situation is fixed with a long term plan, we could very well see a stand alone candidate being elected for Waterford in the next general election. The sad truth is “What good will this do us?” As he/she will be one lone voice, outside of the sphere of Government influence, wandering aimlessly around the corridors of Leinster House.

Our other crumb of comfort is that Leo’s mother hails from County Waterford. This of course means that he will see his home county as somewhere that needs special attention, ahead of all other constituencies! A Junior Minister post for a sitting FG Dungarvan TD perhaps? Oh bugger, I forgot that dice has already been cast!

So we in Waterford are once again waking up, scratching our heads, thinking “Groundhog Day?”