It’s
been such a bad couple of weeks, in terms of sad news stories, the Editor has
indulged me. Giving permission to print
a selection of extracts. I can judge people’s opinions and comments. Here’s a
flavour.
Sneak Peek 1; “Pick me, pick me!” shouted all the golf
balls, who sat in boxes of three, on the shelves of Old Tom’s pro golf shop.
One golf ball, Four was his name, said nothing as he
knew that “Slasher Harris”, the golf ball widow maker, was choosing his “Victims!”
The ones he wanted for his game that day. Four had heard through the Ball Vine,
that this golfer was bad news for any golf ball! He was to be avoided at ALL
costs!!!!!
Four and his two brothers, shared a small cardboard
box, with one undersized cellophane window. Their box, was decorated in the
same way as every Gallaway Family box. There were millions of Gallaways around
the world, none of the Gallaway balls would ever be as special as Four.
Four was truly a very, very special little white golf
ball. You see, he was made with one extra dimple, which would make him
extraordinary. Four didn’t know of this extra dimple, which would propel him to
many, many great golfing victories. He would become a Living Legend amongst
golf balls.
Slasher Harris’s hand hovered over the box containing
Four and his two brothers. Four shivered and prayed, that Slasher would select
his cousins. The number Threes or number Ones, who sat on the shelf beside him.
He tightly closed his eyes, calling on The Great Golden Bear in the sky, (The
Patron Saint of golf balls), that he would not be picked.
~~~~~~~~~~
Sneak Peek 2; Some of these single golf balls had
fallen to the very bottom of the seemingly never-ending, pongy pocket and were
being squashed by the boxes of golf balls above them. Also, in this pocket was
an amazing array of plastic and wooden golf tees, all manner of shapes, colours
and sizes. Some very long tees, some very short tees, some tees that looked like
Mohican Indians, with their spiky coloured hair pointing skywards. Then there
were lots and lots of sad, injured tees. Tees that had been broken, tees that
had been split and some tees, had even had their heads removed! Four was
beginning to think that maybe this wasn’t the place he wanted to be after all.
An old malodorous, slightly worn yellowed golf ball,
recognised this new box of golf balls and rolled over to say hello.
“Hello chaps, my name is Dun Poll 66!” he said in a
very authoritarian, almost military like manner.
~~~~~~~~~~
Sneak Peek 3; “Get off my dimples!” shouted an old whiffy
lake ball, wearing a curiously, yellowing, greenish discoloured cover.
“Well HELLO, new boy!” said a rather strikingly,
pearlescent pink coloured golf ball, named Lady. Four assumed that this ball
was in Had-a-win’s bag by mistake. Quite clearly the ball belonged to the
women’s Club Champion, Paula-Ice-Creamer.
“What’s the rush?” continued Lady, in a husky voice.
“I’m on my way to the other side of the pocket, to see
Dun Poll 66.” replied Four.
“That old ball has no spin left in him. Why would you
want to go and see him?” Lady continued.
~~~~~~~~~~
Sneak Peek 4; “Well I am a MacGregor from the clan
MacGregor. Had-a-win found me on the links of St.Andrews, The Holy Grail of
Golf. See, see, see...” he said excitedly, spinning around to show a rather
faded logo printed on his dimpled bottom.
Four squinted at the logo and sure enough it read
“From the Home of Golf, St.Andrews”. There was what appeared to be a rather
faded blue flag, with a white cross, underneath the writing.
To be continued.
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